When Rory McDaid speaks about his life before Khiron, he describes it with striking honesty: “I truly believed I was dying.”
By the time he stepped off the plane back into England, he could barely eat, barely sleep, and was overwhelmed by chest pains that sent him into hospital after hospital in search of answers. CT scans, MRIs, medical tests, all of it pointed to one thing no one had prepared him for:
Severe, untreated trauma.
The Moment Everything Changed
After years of numbing, pushing through, and coping in the only ways he knew how, Rory’s life finally collapsed under the weight of unspoken pain. A friend had to fly to Fuerteventura to bring him home. His family, terrified and desperate to help, found Khiron.
“One month later,” Rory says, “I checked into Khiron. And it was a game changer.”
But healing rarely begins neatly.
“When I Arrived, I Wasn’t Ready”
Rory remembers walking into the programme focusing on everything except himself.
“I didn’t think I was the problem,” he says.
“My parts were non existent. Every part of me was exiled.”
His anger was erupting faster and harder than he could control. Just weeks in, he was suspended from the programme.
This moment, painful, unexpected, and humbling, became his turning point:
“When I was suspended, I was finally able to look inward. That’s when everything changed.”
He spent time alone in London. He walked. He read. He picked up the books his therapists had recommended.
And slowly, the denial dissolved.
A Return With A Different Heart
When Rory returned for reassessment, he says:
“For the first time, I realised I was ready to face myself.”
This time, he showed up fully.
This time, he opened.
This time, he allowed the work to rearrange his entire inner world.
Over the next eight months at Khiron, Rory began the hardest journey of his life.
Learning The Language Of Parts
Rory arrived without a way to understand what was happening inside him. He felt overwhelmed, confused, and flooded by emotions he had spent decades suppressing.
“The biggest thing I took from Khiron was finding language for what was happening inside me. Everything I had suppressed finally had a voice.”
For the first time, his anger made sense.
His shame made sense.
His numbness made sense.
His loneliness made sense.
The language of parts gave him a map.
Feelings He Had Never Felt Safely Before
In the safety of the programme, emotions that were once terrifying became tolerable, eventually even transformable.
“I experienced new feelings in Khiron, things I’d never felt safely before.”
He learned the difference between anger and rage.
He learned that anger protects.
He learned that rage was the signal of a young part that had been alone for far too long.
One sentence from a therapist became a turning point in his identity:
“How can someone with such a big heart not love themselves?”
Rory had no answer.
But the question cracked something open.
The Boy Who Was Held
Rory speaks openly about getting clean years earlier, but emotionally, remaining frozen at the age he first began using.
“When I stopped using drugs, I became the 12 year old boy again. I had never learned to feel anything safely.”
Khiron did what nothing else in his life had done:
“Khiron held me at the age of the boy. When I left, the boy jumped in.”
The Most Important Moment: Self Love
Two years after leaving treatment, sitting on a lunch break folding origami, a grounding tool he learned in Khiron, something extraordinary happened.
“Everything I had felt toward someone else turned inward. And I loved myself for the first time. It was the most overwhelming moment of my life.”
The man who once believed he was dying now realised he wanted to live.
Life Today: Chaos, Beauty, Purpose
It has been over three years since Rory left Khiron.
He is:
Completely drug free
Completely medication free
Living independently in Bristol
Working full time with the homelessness community
Supporting a caseload of 45 clients
Using every tool he learned in Khiron to stay regulated in a demanding environment
His triggers still exist.
But he is no longer afraid.
“I’m not scared of the world anymore.”
The Wounded Healer
Rory never expected to work in mental health. But today, he is a stabilising force in one of the most overwhelmed communities in the country.
He doesn’t share his story with clients, but they know he has lived experience.
“It helps them see there is hope. I am just a guide. They walk their own path.”
He laughs when people call him a “wounded healer,” but he embraces it:
“I still feel wounded. But Khiron gave me the tools to process it. Every day is different. But now I know how to meet myself.”
What He Would Tell His Younger Self
“I wouldn’t have believed it was possible. Back then, I couldn’t see any good. But I have learned that if sadness comes up, I make room for happiness too.”
What He Would Say To Someone Who Is Suffering Today
Rory speaks slowly when asked to address someone who is in the darkest place, the place he once lived.
His message is simple:
“Take the risk. You’ll never know if you don’t.
Khiron changed my life in ways I could never have imagined.
I’m living a life I didn’t think I’d ever reach.”
The Word He Needed Most: Belonging
Rory searched for belonging his entire life.
He looked for it in substances, in people, in rage, in withdrawal.
It was only after Khiron that he understood:
“Belonging is a moment. Right now, I am where I belong, because I am me.”
And today, Rory is a man who is fully, powerfully, beautifully himself.
The Last Word
When asked how he would summarise his life today:
Rory smiles and says:
“Life is chaos. But it is beautiful.”
And he means every word.
With deepest gratitude to Rory McDaid
For his courage, his vulnerability, his honesty, and his willingness to share his name and story so others may find hope.
Your journey is a light for so many.
