The Role of Attachment Styles in Trauma Recovery

Did you know that the way we connect with others can deeply shape how we heal from trauma? Understanding your attachment style could be the key to unlocking a more effective and personalised path to recovery. What feels safe and secure for one person may not feel safe and secure for another. Actions that intend to welcome and care can push some people further away. Similarly, statements about recovery progress, even if positive, can reinforce patterns where individuals seek validation and mask struggles for fear of disappointing their therapist, giving the illusion that a particular strategy is working when it’s not.

The Intersection of Attachment and Trauma

Attachment patterns don’t just shape how we recover from trauma—they can also be a direct result of it. When early relationships are marked by neglect, inconsistency, or fear, the developing brain adapts, forming attachment styles that help a child survive and feel safer, but may later complicate adult relationships and responses to distress. These patterns become internal blueprints, influencing how we interpret safety, connection, and support. For example, someone with an anxious attachment may become hypervigilant, fearing abandonment and urgently seeking reassurance when distressed. Others with avoidant attachment may instinctively shut down, pushing others away and trying to manage pain alone. In both cases, the way trauma is experienced and expressed is filtered through these early relational adaptations. Recognising this intersection helps explain why some people struggle to ask for help, trust therapeutic relationships, or even identify their own needs—all essential components of trauma recovery.

Understanding Attachment Styles

Attachment styles are the relational templates we develop in childhood, based on how our caregivers responded to our emotional and physical needs. These early experiences become the foundation for how we connect with others and navigate distress throughout life (Bowlby, 1988). While there are nuances within each category, attachment styles generally fall into four core types:

Secure Attachment

Individuals with secure attachment grew up with caregivers who were consistently responsive and attuned. As adults, they tend to feel comfortable with intimacy, are able to self-regulate during conflict, and trust that others will be there when needed. This style supports resilience in the face of trauma, as these individuals are more likely to seek help and engage in healthy coping.

Anxious Attachment

Developing from inconsistent caregiving, this style is marked by a deep fear of abandonment. People with anxious attachment may become preoccupied with relationships, seek constant reassurance, and feel overwhelmed when others are emotionally unavailable. Trauma can intensify these fears, making recovery emotionally turbulent.

Avoidant Attachment

When caregivers are emotionally distant or dismissive, children may learn to suppress their needs. As adults, avoidantly attached individuals often prize independence, struggle to show vulnerability, and may avoid closeness—even when they crave it. Trauma may be internalized, and asking for help can feel unsafe or shameful.

Disorganised Attachment

Often linked to early trauma or abuse, disorganised attachment combines both anxious and avoidant patterns. Individuals may fluctuate between seeking connection and pushing it away, often feeling confused by their own emotional responses. This style can make trauma recovery especially complex and requires a strong therapeutic focus on safety and stability  (Main & Solomon, 1986).

Strategies for Healing Based on Attachment Styles

As our attachment styles strongly influence how we respond to trauma and the recovery process that follows, understanding these allows both individuals and therapists to co-create more effective, compassionate recovery strategies. Because these patterns shape how we regulate emotions, seek support, and interpret relationships, healing often requires approaches tailored to each attachment style. 

Secure Attachment

Those with secure attachment generally have a foundation of trust and emotional safety, which can facilitate trauma recovery. Strengthening existing coping mechanisms, fostering supportive relationships, and building on resilience are key. 

Anxious Attachment

For individuals with anxious attachment, recovery focuses on developing emotional regulation and cultivating a sense of internal safety. Practices such as grounding exercises, boundary-setting, and gradually reducing reliance on external validation can help build self-trust. Consistent therapeutic relationships offer reassurance while encouraging healthier coping strategies.

Avoidant Attachment

Healing for avoidantly attached individuals often involves learning to tolerate vulnerability and reconnecting with suppressed emotions. Gentle exploration of emotional needs in a safe, non-judgmental space allows for gradual openness to support. Mindfulness, body-focused therapies, and building trust at a manageable pace can help break down the barriers to connection and healing.

Disorganised Attachment

For those with disorganised attachment, establishing safety is the first priority. Trauma-informed therapy that emphasises stability, predictability, and emotional regulation is essential. Working through conflicting attachment patterns may involve integrating both emotional and somatic approaches to help individuals form healthier relationships with themselves and others.

By aligning recovery strategies with attachment styles, individuals can address both their trauma and the relational patterns that impact healing, creating a more personalized and sustainable path forward.

Embracing the Journey of Healing

Healing from trauma is not a linear process—it’s a deeply personal journey that unfolds in stages, often with setbacks and breakthroughs along the way. Understanding your attachment style can offer clarity and compassion as you navigate this path. It helps explain why certain relationships feel challenging, why vulnerability might feel unsafe, or why asking for help can be so difficult. Recognising these patterns is not about blame, but about reclaiming agency and making sense of your emotional world. With the right support, including trauma-informed therapy and nurturing relationships, it is possible to shift toward greater emotional security. Over time, even deeply ingrained patterns can begin to soften, making space for trust, connection, and self-compassion. While the process takes time, patience, and courage, every step forward—no matter how small—is part of building a more grounded, resilient sense of self. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to walk the path alone.

References 

Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent child attachment and healthy human development. New York: Basic Books.

https://www.scirp.org/reference/referencespapers?referenceid=556378

Lahousen T, Unterrainer HF, Kapfhammer HP (2019). Psychobiology of Attachment and Trauma-Some General Remarks From a Clinical Perspective. Front Psychiatry. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6920243/

Main, M., & Solomon, J. (1986). Discovery of an insecure-disorganized/disoriented attachment pattern: Procedures, findings and implications for the classification of behavior. In T. B. Brazelton, & M. Yogman (Eds.), Affective development in infancy (pp. 95-124). Norwood, NJ: Ablex.  https://www.scirp.org/reference/referencespapers?referenceid=1076926

Slade, A. & Holmes, J. (2019) Attachment and psychotherapy, Current Opinion in Psychology, Volume 25, Pages 152-156, ISSN 2352-250X,

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X1830085X

Siegel, D. J. (2010). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. Guilford Press.