Nobody likes waiting in the queue. A queue is fine when it is short, speedy, and effortless. Even a longer queue is manageable when it is moving at a decently efficient pace. Yet a long queue, a long, insufferable, slow, unmanageable queue is enough to test anyone’s patience. We have to listen to conversations we don’t want to. We have to deal with sights, sounds, smells, and circumstances we don’t want to. As our impatience builds, our intolerance builds and our anger takes off. If we don’t use our skills of recovery, we can lose control quite quickly which doesn’t help us, doesn’t help others, and doesn’t make the queue move any faster.
Losing our patience in the queue is a perfect metaphor for managing and regulating our emotions in recovery. Anything in the world can act as a stressor which threatens the very grip on our reality we hold so dearly as individuals in trauma recovery. A long and unruly queue is just one of many. If we allow people, places, things, and circumstances to have control over us, we will live in a constant state of retraumatization. Trauma takes our power because it takes our sense of control over our lives. Most often trauma is a situation which is completely out of our control, leaving us feeling powerless. Powerlessness is the key in testing the strength of your recovery skills.
A bothersome queue, and many other stressful events of life, inspire a feeling of powerlessness over us. We can be quick to say that we are needing to be in “control”. What is really occurring is our visceral dislike for being out of control. Powerlessness in any form brings us back to that original moment we were powerless in our trauma. Feeling powerless and feeling triggered at the same time leads us to feel like we are in a state of survival- even if our circumstances are as innocuous as a queue.
The test of our recovery is maintaining a foundation of calm, mindfulness, and health regardless of the situation we are in. We have to recognize where our power is and claim it for our own, letting go of that which we cannot change. We can always change ourselves- and that is one of the most important lessons to learn in recovery from trauma.
Trauma is most often the root cause of many emotional, behavioral, and mood disorders. Until you can heal your trauma, you will find great difficulty finding the healing you need to live a life of recovery, health, and wellness. At Khiron House, we provide effective residential treatment and cutting edge therapies which seek to transform mind, body, and spirit from the effects of trauma. Call us today for information. UK: 020 3811 2575 (24 hours) USA: (866) 801 6184 (24 hours).