Neglect during childhood can leave a lasting and often hidden impact on a person’s development and relationships. Those who experienced neglect might not easily recognise or remember their own emotional deprivation.
When asked about their past, they may say things like, “Nothing happened to me,” unaware of the crucial experiences they missed out on. What slowly emerges with exploration is a childhood devoid of the developmental interactions and experiences are essential for emotional growth and a healthy sense of self.
Children of neglect often don’t have a clear sense of something major having gone wrong. While they may acknowledge feeling unseen, lonely or bored, they may overlook the more significant absence of meaningful connection and engagement in their early lives. As a result, neglected children can have trouble recalling memories of close interpersonal experiences, leaving them with a fragmented sense of self and difficulty relating to others.
What Is Neglect?
Neglect is a form of abuse that occurs when a person’s basic needs are not adequately met. It can affect anyone but is most commonly seen in vulnerable populations such as children, the elderly, and individuals with disabilities. Neglect can take various forms, with all having serious and lasting consequences.
Physical neglect involves failing to provide essential needs such as food, shelter, clothing, and protection from harm. This might also include inadequate supervision or abandonment, leaving a person exposed to unsafe conditions.
Emotional neglect occurs when someone is deprived of emotional support, love, or affection, which can lead to feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, and depression.
Medical neglect is another critical form, where a caregiver fails to provide necessary healthcare or treatments, resulting in untreated illnesses or worsening medical conditions.
Educational neglect is most commonly seen in children, where they are denied access to education or not supported in their learning and development, which can severely impact their future opportunities.
The causes of neglect are often linked to broader issues such as caregiver mental health problems, substance abuse, poverty, or a lack of resources. The long-term effects of neglect can be devastating, leading to physical, emotional, and cognitive development issues, and in severe cases, the consequences may last well into adulthood.
Long-Term Effects of Neglect
Neglect during childhood can have deep and lasting effects on an individual’s emotional and psychological well-being. One common issue that arises is a deep-seated distrust or lack of faith in others. When people fail to provide care and support early on, it can teach a person that others are unreliable or even harmful. This can manifest as an inability to trust anyone or, conversely, trusting too quickly and often trusting people who don’t have good intentions. Both patterns are damaging, as they interfere with building healthy, balanced relationships. This mistrust often leads to a belief that one must handle everything alone. Relying solely on yourself may seem like the only safe option, resulting in overworking and emotional isolation, where sharing thoughts or feelings feels impossible.
Another consequence of neglect is learned helplessness, where a person feels they have no control over their circumstances. Having experienced a lack of care and support in childhood, these individuals often believe their needs are unimportant and that they are powerless to change their situation. This feeling of helplessness can carry over into adulthood, making it difficult to meet their own needs or take control of their lives. Aimlessness and difficulty with decision-making are also common, especially for those who grew up in environments lacking guidance or who were overly controlled. Without proper direction, it becomes challenging to feel motivated, set goals, or function in an independent environment.[1]
Neglect can also lead to poor emotional regulation and a tendency to seek unhealthy coping mechanisms. Those who have experienced emotional neglect often struggle with emotional regulation as adults. Chronic shame, guilt, and low self-esteem are additional burdens, leaving a person feeling not good enough.
The Effect of Neglect on The Nervous System
Research shows that young children who experience neglect may suffer a range of negative physical and mental health outcomes, which can actually lead to more extensive developmental consequences than physical abuse. These effects are incredibly wide-ranging and include cognitive delays, stunted physical growth, difficulties with executive functioning and self-regulation, as well as disruptions to the body’s stress response system, often resulting in chronic dysregulation.
This nervous system dysregulation underpins most other long-term effects of neglect, including depression, anxiety, executive functioning, and physical health.
Internalised Reactions
Researchers have found that neglected children are more likely to be withdrawn and experience internal emotional struggles, like anxiety or depression, rather than externalising behaviours like acting out, as often seen in physically abused children.
One study showed that neglect, compared to physical or sexual abuse, was linked to more emotional difficulties in late childhood and early adolescence. The researchers suggested this might be due to neglected children believing that their circumstances were shaped by others rather than their own actions, which led to more internal emotional problems.[2]
Turning Absence into Presence
Healing from the absence and betrayal of neglect is no small thing. As neglect so often goes unrecognised, survivors can go decades without any recognition or support for the abuse they suffered. This often leads to deeply entrenched beliefs stemming from neglect, such as a lack of self-confidence and self-worth, and a lack of belonging in social situations. It may also mean that adult survivors of child neglect have learned to rely on coping mechanisms to deal with the wide-ranging effects that make daily life painful and difficult. Beginning the journey of healing the wounds that neglect left, and building new, healthier and more productive coping mechanisms can take time, but healing is possible.
At Khiron Clinics, we recognise the need to offer a wide variety of approaches to healing. We meticulously select modalities that adhere to our Polyvagal-informed approach, and curate personalised programs by combining various practices.
Using proven, effective nervous system-informed therapies based on the work of pioneers in the field including our teachers, mentors and advisors Bessel van der Kolk, Janina Fisher, Stephen Porges, Dick Schwartz, Deb Dana, Licia Sky and Linda Thai, our fundamental goal is to stop the cycle of misdiagnosis and interrupt the revolving door of treatment.
We prioritise empowerment, perceived safety, and nervous system regulation and put each individual’s experience at the centre of treatment. Get in touch today to learn more.
Sources:
[1] VanMeter F, Nivison MD, Englund MM, Carlson EA, Roisman GI. Childhood abuse and neglect and self-reported symptoms of psychopathology through midlife. Dev Psychol. 2021 May;57(5):824-836. doi: 10.1037/dev0001169. PMID: 34166025; PMCID: PMC8284929.
[2] Spratt EG, Friedenberg SL, Swenson CC, Larosa A, De Bellis MD, Macias MM, Summer AP, Hulsey TC, Runyan DK, Brady KT. The Effects of Early Neglect on Cognitive, Language, and Behavioral Functioning in Childhood. Psychology (Irvine). 2012 Feb 1;3(2):175-182. doi: 10.4236/psych.2012.32026. PMID: 23678396; PMCID: PMC3652241.
