“Secrets keep you sick” is one of the repeated adages of living in recovery, be it from addiction, trauma, or any other affliction of mental health. The theme song of the popular American television show, Pretty Little Liars sums up the punishment of keeping secrets succinctly. “Why when we do our darkest deeds do we tell? They burn in our brains become a living hell cause everyone tells everyone tells.” We keep secrets in the hopes that nobody finds out whatever it is our secret is about. What inspires us to keep a secret varies. Most often, secrets are rooted in fear, shame, and guilt. We’re ashamed of something, so we keep it a secret. We are guilty of something that we are ashamed of or we fear the punishment of, so we keep it a secret. We are afraid of the guilt or shame which might result if our secret got out, so we keep it a secret. Though the intention of secret-keeping seems a necessity of survival, holding onto the emotional energies of fear, guilt, and shame, will always result in toxicity. As the lyrics suggest, everyone tells their secrets. For those who are recovering from trauma, secrets may not be confessed or admitted verbally, but speak through their bodies, minds, and spirits in other ways.
Secrets do indeed keep you sick. Trauma recovery is all about resolving the anchors of the past which keep you tied to somewhere in time other than the present. Keeping secrets is like keeping our soul tethered to more moments of shame, blame, guilt, and fear, which extend beyond our trauma. Many of our trauma experiences include secret-keeping. Keeping secrets is often part of the abuse cycle, part of sexual assault, and witnessing violence. When we are forced to keep a secret, we are forced to deny the liberation of our authenticity. Secrets are small parts of our soul-experiences which we banish away in punishment.
The moment we choose to seek trauma recovery, we choose to release our secrets over time. Trauma recovery gives us the safety, security, and space we need to tell our secrets with confidence, heal the negativity associated with them, and let ourselves heal.
Providing effective residential care and cutting edge treatments, seeking trauma recovery at Khiron House offers healing for many common mental health problems and manifestations of trauma. If you haven’t found the treatment solution you need to sustain a life of recovery, your journey is here waiting for you to begin. For information, please call UK: 020 3811 2575 (24 hours) USA: (866) 801 6184 (24 hours).