The shame and stigma surrounding mental illness is pervasive. We think there is something “wrong” with people who are hurt, suffering, and struggling through immense emotional pain because we have associated so much shame with pain that we have lost sight of the pain altogether. Rather than be concerned with someone else’s pain, we become fixated on the pain they are causing us through discomfort, misunderstanding, helplessness, frustration, and more, To cope with our own pain, we cause more pain for them by punishing them, criticizing them, judging them, labeling them, and shaming them. What we are really doing is taking away their humanity, because their humanity is too much for us to handle. If we could relate to that kind of pain, the pain that society tells us is wrong, should be silenced, and remain unacknowledged, what would that say about us? Shame is what keeps us separated. Empathy, compassion, and recovery is what can bring us together.
Your loved one might have PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder, which causes them much discomfort and suffering in their life. They may have encountered trauma in their life which changed the way their brain and body operated, changed the way they see the world, and changed the way they see themselves. As a result, your loved one might have developed some kind of a mental illness. Perhaps they developed a mood disorder, or a personality disorder, or even a psychiatric disorder. Perhaps they developed a behavioral disorder, a compulsive disorder, or some other kind of disorder. It is true- there is something which is not medically well with them. What isn’t true is that something is wrong with them. Nothing is wrong. Instead, try this perspective: something, that is, trauma, happened to them and that something wasn’t right.
Experiencing what isn’t right has an affect on us. Consider the last time you witnessed an injustice, suffered a disappointment, or were shocked by something scandalous. There is a feeling which sticks with us. We might ruminate on the event, we might try to analyze the feelings. Something feels not right about what happened and as a result, we don’t feel “right” either. Our loved ones are experiencing the very same experience on a much larger and more impactful scale. Nothing is wrong with them, just like nothing is wrong with us. Something terribly, terribly wrong has happened to them and they are doing their very best to cope with it.
Eventually, our coping mechanisms give way and we have to confront the pain of our trauma. You’re not alone in this process.
Stop the cycle of merry-go-round treatment and find the solution you’re looking for in trauma treatment. Through effective residential treatment, Khiron House helps you find the path you need toward health and wellness in recovery. For information, call us today. UK: 020 3811 2575 (24 hours). USA: (866) 801 6184 (24 hours).
